ugh, F***, just tired

***WARNING OF LANGUAGE***

stuff like this i just dont f*** understand–I do not in anyway abuse the system, assistance–i so do NOT want to be like this, much rather work and have a life to LIVE not f**** survive

anyways venting–after the whole f*** fiasco with my son and a job–and me feeling bullied into having him do that since I am so pathetic–yeah obviously not in a good place right now–anyways–things with this person hasnt been the same–but I said it is between her and my son–am NOT getting involved with the job thing anymore–I should have followed my instinct there–usually i do, but the bullying got the best of me, that and the guilt so i gave in, caved–i knew deep inside i wouldnt be happy, i knew deep inside that it would be an inconvenience to her, but i knew it would somehow affect my assistance–it always does–and that it did–needless to say it will be “cut” for the 8 weeks my son was to work–i sent them paperwork now that says it is an 8 wk govt program–so will hopefully get it back after that–but ouch it is going to hurt especially with a teenage boy–sigh–guess good think i struggle with an ED issue–I cant believe that the govt, or anyone would expect him (my son) to pay for that stuff–seriously??? I simply cant let him anyways–guess that is a big problem with me–one of many–well anyways to make this whole thing worse–yeah story of my life–at his last day of training/orientation 2 teens got into a fight–and some of the others wouldnt quiet down–so the program manager ended the training–told all this program was done and that they probably wont get jobs becaue they cant behave–as she calmed a little she then said check your emails in the next few days and see–the person who was giving my son a ride was more livid then I–me, sorry if it is selfish was more, and am more that my food asistance was cut based on a decision i should have stuck with–and instead i didnt–now i have this issue–and i am tired of fighting for it—will struggle through for the next 2 months, why because that is what i do–tired of fighting–just tired

later the person who game my son a ride said if your son doesnt get a job I–meaning her will call them–i said no you wont–I (meaning me) am the parent not you–just let it go and my son will tell you when he hears anything

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