So hard as a single parent to a teen…yet…

It is so hard, and hard enough to be a single parent of a male teen (I specify that because a mom with a dad who has nothing to do with him/us)–nor a family or support that does.  We all know how those teen hormones are, testing the waters, making their own identity, wanting independence, but not, and that disrespectful mouth–which to be honest for my son comes about once a month–i swear he has PMS–between that and his tiredness from school, etc–well you can only guess–and when that kicks in–I am the only one who gets the brunt, and I mean brunt of it.

Our lives were never like this–we had a life of fun, hope, dreams and happiness till about 2009.  When depression, and other MH stuff took hold–well all been down hill since–then when my son turned 13 it was like a switch turned on him–I at some points worried that maybe he “inherited” some of the stuff–but I am pretty sure it is teen hormones–all of which, like I said hit about the same time each month for a week–and those words are harsh–i dont even want to write them

I so try to stand firm, and honestly I do–you disrespect me then you face consequences–all the while him getting more angry–and the words for me dont roll off–at first they do-but then honestly my mind, heart, soul all shut down–completely–and my mind, heart and soul later remember yes i did ruin his life, everything is my fault, he wished me gone, and dead (umm my mind thinks yeah so do I)–and it continues to go downward fast for me–as I sit in my room trying to fight all the thoughts I have and now my son has confirmed–those thoughts I am sorry are always on my mind–so plz dont worry what I am writing–but when he says it–well–would he be better off??? or is it just a teen talking

and to make it worse–other then here I have no where, no one to vent to, to support my thoughts, or anything and well.. yeah we all know the drill I am sure—anyone who has advice for a struggling parent with a teen, plz let me know.

So hard being a single parent–as I close off and the tears roll

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