Costs and Gains

(Keep in mind as you read this, and any other post for that matter–that I struggle with UNtreatable depression, as well as other MH stuff–but meds did not work for me–tried them all twice) that being said–here is todays post

The darkness of depression is wrapping around me horribly

What has depression, MH costs me

Friends, Family, Job, my home (originally the only place i felt “home”), money, dreams, school, church hope, and someday will probably take my life

What has depression, MH given me

A “dark shadow friend” that follows me everywhere, a family that doesnt speak to me at all anymore since my “attempt” many years ago, a job of survival everyday, a house that doesnt feel like a home where I live in a room, nothing else that makes a person feel more alone when you live with someone, living on assistance which i hate with a passion (so i guess depression gave me passion ehh–so much rather be a person in this world then a burden to society), nightmares instead of “dreams” as well as survival everyday instead of looking forward to the next, almost ready to get my masters degree when all hit and dropped out, a church that kicked me out and a minister that proceeded to “exorcise” me to get the demons (guess that is another friend ehh) out and further caused more MH/PTSD issues, as well as “believers” who no longer want around me so they dont “catch” these demons, nor want to be around me due to, thus giving me the gift of further worthlessness, if i only prayed enough–but it has given me the longing to be HOME–in heaven–a thought that honestly have everyday–but plz dont judge, dont act upon–so

THANKS depression for all you have given me–NOT!!!

 

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