Fear of the uncertainty

I really was not wanting to write about the election–but dont have anyone else to vent too–i did write to one FB friend who understands but no one irl so plz bear with “us”-The presidential election this year, the time it lead up to it was very triggering to us–in a way that is hard to explain at times–personally didnt agree with any candidate–and honestly dont vote–for our own personal reasons at this time, some MH related–I did vote twice in my lifetime, but honestly they were forced because at that time I worked for a public, elected official and was “threatened” to vote–he was a power hungry person, so truth be told I went to vote but did not check his box–he was a huge bully where I worked, a judge to be honest–the experiences there lead into some of my ptsd stuff, anxiety and depression and i soon “quit”–anyways that is part of why this election and what lead up to it was so triggering–I was watching a bully, a person who spoke nasty things, had “alleged offenses” of sexual assault, intimidation, ect (something I to experienced, but where I worked was never believed anyways) and maybe with this candidate it was not true, but i tend to eerr on the side of caution–but the hate words between candidates, the hate between political parties, religions, america in general, ect–WOW–the words, the bullying, that it was okay to treat people that way–again as my mind was triggered because I too was bullied and to watch that, and have my teen son watch that–was very hard–but like everyone else was glued to this election–was over consuming, overwelming to us as we wanted to know “why” people liked either candidate–was waiting the whole time what do they have to offer??? at that point would have voted third party–but if had to choose this year would have voted purely on respect–which is good, never really knew the issues anyways 🙂 that being said we did hear all the negative talk, and further the negative talk about people like “us”, those with MH issues at one point he wanted to lock us all up, the “crazies” he said–and it was and now even harder to explain that to my teen son that it takes alot for that to happen–but honestly the “fear” is inside–the fear is there and yeah we udnerstand why people would think of “su” as an answer–again not there at this moment, but totally understand from that perspective–and the thought of hearing that assistance to people will be cut, ect–scary too–and to see the division in the world, in the america during, and even now after the election–even lost some friends over it (online ones) not because whom they voted or didnt voted for, but the disrespectful hate towards others the belittling, the words of meanness–to us bullying, yeah people have freedom of speech, and honestly would have loved to see some of the positives of either candidate, but the hate, the name calling, pure bullying (at least in our opinion)

for us we are full of uncertainty–scientifically the results were a surprise, shock–spiritually it gives us fear (something will write about in our other blog)–but personally it gives us confusion, fear of the unknown, not understanding, ect–survival in our life will be just that as the darkness takes hold and the results sets in, trying to explain to our son, but also trying to explain and calm ourselves

Because..regardless the results came down, and as we went to bed that night faded away in fear, again fear of the unknown, fear of the certainty, fear of the seperating, fear of what might happen to “us” and fear of the future for my son

I truly pray for the new incumbent president–I truly hope he can change things and give us “hope” and not “fear”–bring us together, not separate–people voted and i truly pray they get what they are hoping for, and I will hand it over to prayers myself–Good Luck Mr. President–honestly anyone who got voted in would need it

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